Managing Overstimulation as a Parent

Overstimulation occurs when sensory input overwhelms an individual's ability to process and respond appropriately. For medical caregivers and families, overstimulation can be triggered by the constant sounds, sights, and activities of being around those with medical needs, often causing extreme sensory overload.

The challenges of parenting kids with diverse needs

For me, overstimulation is often caused by being the primary caregiver of three of my very diverse children. Each of my children has a different temperament, which leads to behaviors and reactions that often require 1:1 support—something that can feel nearly impossible on some days.

Balancing their high energy levels, interests, and medical needs is mentally and physically exhausting. The daily need to regulate them adds stress—especially with the constant noise in our home. There is never a quiet moment.

How I prepare for mornings

The first thing that has helped me manage overstimulation is accepting that it will be part of my daily life. Creating a structured routine has helped me ease my way into different parts of the day and manage the chaos that comes along with it.

I prepare as much as I can for the next morning before bed:

• Preparing breakfast: I leave bowls, utensils, cereal, and drinks on the counter for the morning. This allows me to feel less overwhelmed when the kids wake up and want to eat immediately.
• Activities at the coffee table: I choose three small activities for the morning so that my children have choices, but there aren't many toys out at once. This allows my two younger children to move from the kitchen table to the coffee table when they are done eating while I work with my medically complex child on using utensils and putting away his food.
• Cartoons loaded on the TV: By preloading shows, I’m giving my children a visual of what’s available without overwhelming them or starting fights over which app to use. What’s on is what we’re watching. We either agree or take turns. This allows my younger children to enjoy shows they like, while I teach my oldest, medically complex child about taking turns and expanding the variety of shows we watch.

Self-care tips that fit into a caregiver's day

As a caregiver, having a go-to list for my own self-care is essential. For me, this is different depending on what part of the day it is. If the morning goes well, I walk on my walking pad while the kids are watching cartoons. Getting my exercise in early improves my mood and gives me more energy.

Another one of my go-to self-care strategies is preparation and organization, often done while interacting with the kids. It gives me time to focus on something for myself while still caring for them. Being organized means I can grab what I need quickly and reduce clutter around the house.

When I'm extremely overstimulated by parenting and household responsibilities, I often put on my headphones and listen to music for a few minutes. This gives me a moment to myself while still keeping my eyes on the kids.

Teaching emotional regulation to my kids

Teaching children emotional regulation is essential for their social and emotional development. It involves helping them understand and manage their emotions in healthy and constructive ways.

By learning emotional regulation, my children have gained—and continue to gain—the ability to recognize their feelings, express them appropriately, and cope with challenging situations without becoming too overwhelmed. These skills have enabled my children to handle stress and setbacks more effectively.

Since focusing on regulation and communication, they have learned to better communicate their needs and empathize with others, which has created a closer relationship between them as siblings.

Creating safe, quiet spaces for everyone

Ensuring everyone in the home has a quiet space to escape when they become overstimulated is crucial to managing their feelings and bringing everyone back to their comfort level.

If your house is small like mine and you have more than one child, I’m sure you can relate to how difficult it can be to find a space for everyone. However, there are always ways to create safe spaces.

In my home, you will often find one of my children in my room when things are escalating. This allows one of my boys to have their room (my boys share) and my daughter in her room. When the kids need to be alone, offering them something that brings them happiness can help. This can be a fidget toy, an iPad, a TV, or headphones. The only requirements I have are that they need to be sitting still and the lights must be on. Normally, they are recharged within 20 minutes and back out to join the party!

Final thoughts on managing overstimulation

As a parent, dealing with overstimulation can be incredibly challenging. The never-ending noise, activity, and need to attend to multiple tasks can lead to feelings of exhaustion and stress.

However, understanding how to manage overstimulation is crucial for maintaining your well-being and effectively caring for your family. This helps reduce your stress levels and models healthy coping mechanisms for your children, ultimately creating a happier household.