Finding My Calling

I have always known I was meant to help others. It feels like an intense need to share my light and bring calm or happiness.

But I can't hold someone else's baggage because it harms me. It took me many years to learn, and many failed attempts of getting burned to understand – my depression gets worse, I feel like a shell of my former self, and I have to figure out how to fill my soul again.

My exploration into the medical field

For many years, I truly loved the medical field. I felt like maybe this was my area to help. I was good at it, and I could focus on the studies with my ADHD. It made me happy, but I always felt like I was missing something.

It was like trying to fit a puzzle piece into the wrong puzzle. I tried multiple areas and ran my body to the ground. I did a fast-paced school for medical assisting. I had 2 little kids at home, and a husband deployed overseas at war. I was constantly battling bronchitis or pneumonia. No matter which direction I looked – ultrasound tech, radiologist, etc. – I just felt like I wasn't doing enough, that this wasn't how I was meant to help.

How my rare disease diagnosis changed everything

In the meantime, I was diagnosed with hyper IgE. My immunologist sat me down and told me the medical field is probably not a good area for me to work. The germs involved mean I would constantly be fighting sicknesses, which could lead to permanent lung damage.

I was crushed. I had found somewhere I fit in, and I loved the people, but it was dangerous for my health. I was so angry that this diagnosis was making me change so much of my life. So I started researching other careers.

How could I help others without hurting myself?

What am I meant to do? How can I help and not hurt my body? Also, finding something my ADHD wouldn't be bored by is much harder than you may think.

I asked friends and family what they thought I should look into. I heard I should be a counselor. I had thought about that myself but 6 years of college...oof, that's a lot with a family and trying to keep my brain on task for that long. A teacher? I love kids. I have always loved kids. But the germs...I would never be healthy. I kept looking at different opportunities and throwing them out.

Meanwhile, I was still helping in my everyday life

If I see someone on the side of the road with a sign, if I can, I will stop. I will spend time talking to them, learning their story, and helping in some way. I've had random strangers cry and hug me. I've run inside a store to buy flowers for someone just because they looked like they could use some. I've called my husband and said, "I need to do this and he says, 'It's who you are and I wouldn't ask for anything else.'" I have put a family living in their van in a hotel and bought them groceries for a week while helping them find a job and resources. I have brought home stray animals to help find their owners or a new loving home.

Dennis will always be a happy memory for me. One night on Facebook, my husband saw a post about our local homeless man wrapped in plastic sheeting on the ground while we were going to get a horrible snowstorm that could kill him. When he showed me the phone, I hopped off the couch and decided we were going to the store. I bought him a new tent, below-zero sleeping bags, and food. I sat with Dennis for at least an hour, learning about him. He refused to go to a hotel or a home. He refused to go to a shelter. He liked his tent, and I was determined to help him where he was. It's not for me to decide how he wants the help, just to give him what I can and how he is willing to accept it. I helped Dennis get resources and move out of the tent when he was ready.

Using my voice to help others

I stumbled upon the Immune Deficiency Foundation, and I remember feeling hopeful. I found a whole foundation with others like myself. Through them, I learned about advocating and using my voice to help others.

I had the opportunity to speak to senators and representatives about laws that could benefit the primary immune community. I go yearly to The National Institutes of Health to take part in studies on Hyper IgE while they strive to learn more about it.

Finding my calling in the advocacy space

While there, I met an amazing friend on the bus who goes for another illness. Through her, I learned about writing advocacy and she is the reason I am writing these articles. I found my place. I knew I had a calling to help others, and I finally found it.

Through advocacy, I can use my voice, my life stories, and make change. I've been a guest on 2 podcasts so far. I not only advocate for rare diseases, I advocate for mental health, women's rights, and abuse victims. All of these areas are important to me. I found my puzzle and the piece finally fits perfectly.