"It's been a while. The chronic illness Merry go round that hits every Fall is more like a high speed bullet train this year. I don't even know where to start. Don't think I will start. Most of you know what I'm talking about. It's just one of those things where you feel you can't spend ONE more ounce of energy then life requires you to spend even more. It's just hard. My sister said it was like juggling with glass plates and I said it was more like juggling with chainsaws knowing that dropping one would be very bad. I mean I try very hard to find the good even in uncertainty but right now myself, my adult son, and my adult daughter are sick. (my son and daughter live with us) I'm fairly sure it's just a wicked case of allergies. My hypervigilance has kicked in and I just don't feel like I can rest. It's a bad habit I got into before I was diagnosed with Celiac, and then POTS syndrome. I do have a counselor and we do talk about how to let life flow. I've just always had a problem just letting things happen. They are going to happen... and I can't stop allergies so the hyper vigilance is just so much wasted energy. I know that in my head but I can't let it go. One positive is that my dad, recently widowed, passed his 88th birthday and has PERFECT blood work. The man is healthier than I! "