Questions I Ask Myself on My Healing Journey

I started my medical trauma healing quest in the early 2000s, but since 2022, I have made a consistent effort. I have learned a lot along the way.

I am always looking for new avenues and tools to use in my healing journey, as I feel that variety is necessary. I've been learning a lot about myself over the last 2 years and now ask myself specific questions. I'm going to share these questions with you and explain why they are important.

Is this coping mechanism still serving me?

Through my mental health counseling sessions, I've learned that any coping mechanism we develop serves a purpose for a time to protect us. For example, anger can help protect us by keeping others at a distance to prevent the risk of betrayal or loss. Mechanisms, though, can eventually stop serving the purpose we created them for.

I now ask myself: "What purpose has this mechanism been serving? Is it still serving this purpose? Could it be replaced with something healthier?"

What do I want to gain from time with myself?

Meditations help me to still my mind and allow for self-discovery opportunities. I start each meditation with an intent, asking myself and even visualizing: "What do I want to gain from this time with myself? What do I want to learn? What do I want to instill?"

Even though I do this, sometimes it takes me a while to realize I am receiving exactly what I asked for. For a period, I asked myself to learn what I needed to learn. During that time, I noticed myself becoming distracted a lot throughout each meditation. I was not able to ground myself and maintain mindfulness by acknowledging a thought and letting it go, not following it. I felt so frustrated with myself for my inability to remain mindful.

Acknowledging my self-criticsm

After a couple of weeks of these meditation experiences, I discovered just how judgmental and critical of myself I am when I don't meet my own expectations. I hadn't realized that this self-critical tape I was playing in my mind was playing so often and about so many things until then.

Replacing negative self-talk with grace and forgiveness

This discovery during an intentional meditation period allowed me to become more mindful of how I speak to myself so that I could start replacing negative self-talk with grace and self-forgiveness. I noticed that I was beginning this process of self-grace when, during my meditations, I became less self-critical of moments with decreased mindfulness.

Visualization and affirmations

I also use visualization frequently in my meditations and allow my brain to change the images as it needs. For example, when focusing on breaking through my resistance to self-love and forgiveness, I visualized using hammers to break a black cube that represented my resistance.

Over the span of many meditations, this cube began to break. It changed from a sprout growing from the gap, to me in a monstrous form emerging from the gap, to a glowing white silhouette floating above it.

I also use affirmations in my self-talk to remind myself and instill new thought patterns to replace harmful ones. Affirmations such as looking at myself nude in the mirror and saying, "I love you just because you are." Or before bed, saying, "I give myself love, forgiveness, and gratitude."

Journal prompts

Journaling is another prompt tool I find helpful for learning more about myself, my perceptions, where I can make changes, and new questions to ask myself. Journaling can be self-prompted, especially when practiced as stream-of-consciousness writing, either focusing on a specific topic or simply writing without intent. Either method can reveal subconscious thoughts and beliefs we can then reflect upon.

Another journaling method is using journal prompts. You can find prompted journals or prompt lists through online searches.

What I like best about these methods is that each one is simple and not overwhelming. I can use them all or one at a time – it's all at my discretion. I can shift focus from one method to another as I need or desire.