My Mental Health Discoveries

Content Note: This article describes suicide. If you or a loved one are struggling, consider reading our suicide prevention article.

Through my life with a rare disease, I've learned if I say too much, I'm a complainer or whiner, but if I don’t say anything, I must be fine. Is there ever a good middle?

It's ok to ask for help

Honestly, I don’t know. I know that each person has their own way of handling their mental and physical well-being. Is it right? Who am I to judge? But I can tell you one thing- don’t try to take all of this on by yourself. Ask for help, whether from a therapist or a religious leader, but please make sure it is someone qualified to talk to you.

Remember one thing; you are never weak if you ask for help. You are strong! Knowing when you have too much and can’t do it all yourself takes strength.

My mental health battles

I know this because, in September 2015, I planned my suicide; I had enough pills to kill myself and had them lined up. I was in a place where no medicine was helping; the pain was too much to help, and I felt like I was a burden to my family. I was lucky and had a guardian angel or 2.

Before attempting suicide, I made one last call. I called my therapist. She talked to me, not just about “Don’t Do It.” But it was something that hit me more. She said one thing that stayed with me forever. “Why did you call me?” It stumped me at first. Then she said,” You don’t really want to die?” That got me angry at first. Then she said, “If you wanted to die, you would have done it already.” I thought about that, and it hit me. I didn’t want to die. I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to stop causing my family pain.

It is a constant struggle

So that is in my past for now, but it is my present forever. Just because you haven’t committed suicide at that time doesn’t mean you are out of the woods. It means that you have to make sure you keep getting help. Mental health struggles don’t just go away.

If you ever want to know more about my past, all you have to do is, ask. But that is not why I wrote this. I want people to understand that so many people have what I call a mental health discovery in their life. How you acknowledge them decides how those mental health barriers will affect you.

Fighting through anxiety and depression

To this day, I fight through my mental health battles. Right now, I am fighting a terrible bout of depression and anxiety. You see, I have many diagnoses: Sarcoidosis, Parkinson’s IBS, MS, Diverticulosis, A-Fib, tachycardia, Sjogren’s Syndrome, and Fibromyalgia. I will fight through depression and anxiety for the rest of my life. But I know I am strong. Why am I strong? I asked for help!

Remember, you are not alone!