Shifting the Focus of Goal Setting

Goal setting is a topic covered A LOT, and it's pretty straightforward, right? Set a goal, break it down, and work on the steps to achieve that goal.

Whenever I read about goal setting, the primary focus is on the SMART method as the most effective way to set and achieve goals. SMART stands for setting a Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound goal. I agree that this method is great; it makes sense, and all parts of it are important.

I reviewed this topic and method in a health program I'm participating in, and this time, it hit different. Setting a goal that's achievable, meaning, it's realistic, truly resonated with me more than ever. And I can't stop thinking and talking to others about it.

Setting realistic goals is the key to success

What's different about shifting the focus to look at goal setting as something realistic? First, it requires radical self-honesty to be truly effective. Second, setting realistic goals sets us up for success rather than failure.

How? Taking an honest look at what I am actually willing to do and what I actually can do is the key for me. When we focus on a goal that's our ultimate goal, our ideal goal, it can feel overwhelming, impossible, and never-ending. The longer we feel hopeless, overwhelmed, and incapable of achieving that ultimate goal, the faster we give up; we are setting ourselves up for failure.

Working towards my ultimate goal

Instead, I have learned to identify my ultimate goal but then focus on a realistic goal that I can do to help me work towards that ultimate goal. By shifting my focus from that large, looming goal to a more realistic one, I eliminate the frustration and feelings of defeat when I have yet to reach my ultimate goal.

With each realistic goal I set and achieve, I receive positive reinforcement that provides momentum to keep me going and keep my motivation strong, increasing my ability to achieve that ultimate goal.

Goal setting in practice: remembering to take medication

For example, I recently assisted someone with their goal setting. Their ultimate goal is to remember to take all their medications all the time. This person reported difficulty remembering to take their medications and feeling hopeless, depressed, guilty, and ashamed for their failure to achieve their identified ultimate goal.

Realistic goals feel more doable

We shifted the focus to a realistic goal that feels doable right now. We discussed what tools they were already using to help them remember to take their medications, what was working, and what wasn't. We brainstormed additional tools that may help trigger their memory more effectively.

Breaking the day into segments

Then, with these tools in mind, we broke down the ultimate goal. We took away the unrealistic parameters of remembering to take all medications all the time. Instead, we focused on breaking up the day into segments that looked like this:

• When starting the day, only focus on morning medications and do not stress about the entire day of medications.
• As morning ends, focus on the afternoon medications and so forth.
• Additionally, recognize that if morning medications were skipped, there's still the rest of the day, so it is not a complete wash if some are forgotten. We are not aiming for perfection right now.

This felt much more doable and less overwhelming to this person and helped to alleviate the shame and guilt they were placing on themselves for not perfectly remembering to take their medications all the time.

What about you?

What goals are you working on right now? What tools have you found helpful or not helpful in achieving your goals? What changes are you considering in your goal setting?