Lynjbennett65
"It's been a while. The chronic illness Merry go round that hits every Fall is more like a high speed bullet train this year. I don't even know where to start. Don't think I will start. Most of you know what I'm talking about. It's just one of those things where you feel you can't spend ONE more ounce of energy then life requires you to spend even more. It's just hard. My sister said it was like juggling with glass plates and I said it was more like juggling with chainsaws knowing that dropping one would be very bad. I mean I try very hard to find the good even in uncertainty but right now myself, my adult son, and my adult daughter are sick. (my son and daughter live with us) I'm fairly sure it's just a wicked case of allergies. My hypervigilance has kicked in and I just don't feel like I can rest. It's a bad habit I got into before I was diagnosed with Celiac, and then POTS syndrome. I do have a counselor and we do talk about how to let life flow. I've just always had a problem just letting things happen. They are going to happen... and I can't stop allergies so the hyper vigilance is just so much wasted energy. I know that in my head but I can't let it go. One positive is that my dad, recently widowed, passed his 88th birthday and has PERFECT blood work. The man is healthier than I! "
(((Hugs)))
, you made me cry! (Happy tears!) No one should ever have to feel alone. There is always someone who understands. Sometimes, you just have to find the place. I'm always here when you need a chat, whether you're feeling low, or need to celebrate <3
I'm glad your dad is staying open to communing and community. It's important. Losing your partner is devastating. It is good that he has you as well!
Anxiety can eat you alive. I have gotten .... skilled.... at talking myself past those moments when everything closes in and I could scream. But those moments are burdensome, I empathize. I will definitely have to look for those ear buds - sensory overload i a thing!
Sending love and light - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
Thank you so much! Yeah my brain is just super tired. My husband finally insisted I rest at 6:00 am. I put vibes ear plugs in (vibes are AMAZING), eye mask on, music (Vibes allow you to hear without sensory overload), and a small weighted throw to keep me from waking up in pain (you know how the anxiety is physically painful) I woke up at noon feeling fairly rested... It's a lot to have to go through to get some sleep but then I know you relate. The last several days the air quality has been pretty bad, though it's raining today, I'm still feeling the effect.
Yeah was my very first hero. He's so focused on learning to be who he is without mom. I know people are struggling to know what to say to a man who lost his wife after 60 years but it's good that HE is still reaching out to others who are experiencing the loss of a partner.
Thank you for being a steady positive voice in my times of deep struggle Donna. This forum is very lucky to have you.
Lyn, wow, good on your dad! That is fabulous!!
I hope your children are soon feeling better <3 I totally get the "flow" problem - I hope that you can find some peace. (Easier said than done - I totally get THAT!)
Take care of yourself, Lynn, for yourself, and for your family. - Warm (((hugs))), Donna (Team Member)