Awake but trapped
I’m awake, fully aware that I cannot move. No idea how long it will last? Will I stop breathing? Nobody home for the dog to alert, so I lay here,letting the pacemaker work, keep my mind calm. My muscles hurt, they cramp, they seize. My eyes are on fire from loss of function. My stomach turns, but it will pass, as soon as the potassium returns to my cells. Then I can get m rescue dose of potassium as soon as I can move. I’ll be weak for a while and hopefully not another attack today but at least I know what’s wrong with me. It only took 38 years to find out this is what will hypokalemic periodic paralysis sometimes…………. 
Thank you. I see it was a little sloppy writing… but I am so glad you appreciate and liked it 🥹. I am also hoping for long breaks between paralysis. Working on new healthy routines have helped me so much.
Hi
, that must be a terrifying experience! Is there any kind f potassium pump that could help keep you going when no one is home (I'm thinking something that works like an insulin pump).
The image is beautiful, is this your interpretation of what the experience is like, or one that you identify with? - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)thank you. At first it was terrifying, but now knowing what’s happening and eventually I will come out of it I usually imagine a happy place in nature. Typically by the coast. I think this image started from inspiration from another painting. I usually gift my artwork. It’s nothing special. 😊
As far as the insulin pump I would have to discuss this with my doctor. Thank you., I hope there might be something that would take some of the fear out of being alone. You are incredibly strong just getting through that experience without giving in to it.
The coast is my happy place as well - there is so much healing in the sound, scent and sensation of the ocean. and the little treasures she gifts you from time to time, like a baby ray skimming the surf in front of your feet, and a dolphin breeching at the surfline - so healing!
I think your artwork is definitely something special! I was drawn to it. I love abstracts, some of my favorites are Kandinsky, Matise, and Goeckel (my favorite, I think). I'm glad you shared it here! I'd love to see more of your work! - Warmly, Donna (Team Member)
I am so glad you shared this,
! But I also wish you didn't have to deal with hypokalemic periodic paralysis at all. I think your description was so vivid that I felt as though *I* was experiencing paralysis. What a profound way to bring others into what you experience! You have a way with words. I hope you are doing okay today and that you have a very long break before your next episode of paralysis.
Thanks for sharing this (and your art, if that's your work).
Best, Erin, Team Member.Thank you for the compliment. I realize with support, the disease has helped make me who I am today. I am starting to embrace all that being rare is… to me we are all special in such unique ways. 😊
