Recently been diagnosed

With dermatomyositis, unfortunately I've been suffering now from it for almost 4 years. I have athrophy my thinking space isn't what it was and the biggest challenge has been getting the right diagnosis and treatment. Na they truly neglected me. Sometimes I have trouble swallowing and read if that's the case then the disease will take a bad course. Great I have that to lool foward to. Underlying factor who know recently lost my job and insurance at the hight of this so yea could be cancer may not be I really don't care anymore. I haven't told anyone. Nor will I. But honestly hope that I fall over dead soon. I'm tired. I'm drained. And sick of people telling oh this is so rare and even more rare when you can't swallow. Well mf'er I cant swallow so what??! Yea I don't get colds or even covid I get this?! You can't see the rash on my face but I have it on my lids and itchy. My back gets the brunt on my rash with immflamation that is debilitating. Sometimes can't even raise my arm over my head. I'll continue to work I'll continue to pay taxes and will put on the mask that yea everything is OK. But it's not. I'm not ok. I haven't been and won't be in the future. Furthermore I love the sun but great thing I wear spats and uv gear...to cover up my failed skin. Therapist you say yea she don't get it either...wants to push drugs into me. Nobody gets it. I don't even get it myself. I'm dying as we all die some sooner than other. I just wish mine comes soon and really my only concern here is what will happen to my pup. For him I stay strong for him I fight. Sorry just super upset today. I'm overwhelmed today and needed to vent Thanks